he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
