I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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