either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
