You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
