she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
