I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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