girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
