if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
