Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize