i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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