is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
