My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
