But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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