Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Moan for me like Helen Keller
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
