So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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