office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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