I'm really into asian looking animals
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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