I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
