I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
