Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
