she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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