I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
