ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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