I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
