My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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