Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Farmville is her only friend.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
