How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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