U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
