and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
