All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
