So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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