We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
