There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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