worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
