im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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