Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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