i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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