well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
