Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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