he puts the penis in happiness.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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