I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
