So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
