He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
