You really coming over, don't trick.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize