I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
