thus making me awesome and them whores
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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