Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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