she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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