so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
