I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
