She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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