Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
