i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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