Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
