It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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