Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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