Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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