I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
