Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
