Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
tell me about the fingering
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