Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
