There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize