you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
