Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Everything about him screamed your future.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
