I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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